So, I was thinking about this inadequacy I seem to have when it comes to making friends in Cape Town. I was never one to have problems making friends, honestly, the problem was keeping them around after I was of no use to them anymore or if I actually needed a shoulder as oposed to always being "a sholder".
We all have our defenses. Some lift up inpenetrable castles, others dig a hole in the ground and some, like me, find refuge in a small fox hole waiting for to hear footsteps outside. Me, like a kamikaze, just run out with no worry if it's a friend or foe. Not much of a defense, I know.
But this small thought crafted into words isn't meant fo me. It's actually to understand what kind of atittude is the majority's choice, if it's something thought and planned or just an automatic defense by now, what led to the need of seeking shelter from the world: from the craddle or from lessons learned ?
The Hedgehog's Dilemma refers to a metaphor Schopenhauer (Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher 19th century - very interesting perspective on life - a "must read"), came up with regarding the choices we have to make in order to survive as the gregarious and social beings we are.
On a cold day the Hedgehog has 2 choices: either he looks for the warmth of his kind, gets close, feels the heat and gets pricked by his pair's prickly coats or stays away, safe from the pain of being pricked and freezes.
How does that relate to humans?
The pricks on our bodies are our defenses. Inadvertadly, we hurt others and get wounded ourselves.
The question is, do we let the pricks fall and show our true selves leaving us vulnerable to pricks left, right and center? If we gamble we're left praying and wishing that our honesty will break the other's defense and maybe promote truth between both or is it better to just keep a distance?
Is it possible to have a true, honest and total relationship (friendship or romantic alike) if we're scared to bear our soul?
Waiting on your reply's. Please be honest. Don't write who you wish you were but who you truly are.
Many say they are open books, honest, transparent, love intensly and when faced with the "real thing", get so intimidated, they bolt leaving a flaming trail behind...
What say you?
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